


The Biannual Meeting of the 'Will they or Won't they' Club

by winter_hiems



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men Legacy
Genre: Coming Out, Crack, Don't copy to another site, Family, M/M, mild crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23157019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winter_hiems/pseuds/winter_hiems
Summary: The various children and grandchildren of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet twice a year to discuss one topic: when and how will Charles and Erik admit that they’re dating?
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Kudos: 93





	The Biannual Meeting of the 'Will they or Won't they' Club

Wanda’s living room was full. The chairs and sofas were all occupied; coffee, tea, and hot chocolate had been poured, and biscuits had been offered around. 

They were ready to begin. 

“Okay,” said Wanda, “Welcome back to our biannual meeting of the ‘Will they or Won’t they’ Club.” 

“Wait a sec,” said Pietro, who hardly ever waited before doing anything, “Does biannual mean twice a year or once every two years?” 

Lorna looked it up on her phone. “Okay, so biannual is twice a year, and biennial is once every two years.” 

“What about semi-annual?” asked Billy. “Is that even a thing?” 

“Uh, I think semi-annual means the same as biannual.” Lorna put her phone away. 

“So,” said Wanda, “to get back to the purpose of this meeting: does anyone want to change their bets?” 

*

The bets stood thus: 

**Wanda:** Charles and Erik would tell everyone that they were dating by hosting a family dinner. 

**Pietro:** Charles and Erik wouldn’t tell anyone that they were dating, and they would only go public if someone walked in on them making out. 

**Lorna:** Charles and Erik would tell everyone that they were dating at some point in the next five years. 

(This bet had been made three years ago.) 

**David:** Charles and Erik wouldn’t tell any of their kids or grandkids that they were together in person. Instead, they would publicly reveal their relationship at a press conference because they were both completely incapable of having a normal father-child conversation with any of their offspring. 

**Billy:** Charles and Erik would tell people that they were dating individually, probably by having Erik tell each of his kids and grandkids about the relationship, while Charles told David that he was dating Erik. 

**Tommy:** Charles and Erik would tell everyone that they were dating by sending a group email because they were both incapable of having a normal father-child conversation with any of their offspring. 

The previous meeting, David had admitted that Tommy’s theory had some merit, but not enough to change his bet to match Tommy’s. 

*

“Yeah, I’d like to change my bet,” said Tommy. “I think it’ll happen next year.” 

Wanda pulled out the piece of paper that she’d written the bets on and crossed out Tommy’s previous bet. “Would you like to add any other specifics, or are you just saying sometime next year?” 

“Just next year. I’m keeping it simple.” 

Wanda wrote down Tommy’s new bet. “Just remember, if they a haven’t done it by next year then you have to add another ten dollars to the money pot,” she said, patting a jam jar that was sitting on the coffee table. 

The jam jar contained ten dollars from each member of the ‘Will they or Won’t they’ Club, the contents of which would be given to whoever had the correct bet. 

It also contained an extra ten dollars from Pietro, who had said that Charles and Erik would reveal their relationship sometime in the next two years, three years ago. 

“So does anyone have an idea of how close we are to finding out?” said Tommy. 

Lorna spoke up. “I had, like a full conversation with dad last week about how it would be okay if he started dating again, but he kept acting as if he would only date a woman, so I don’t think he’s going to admit to it any time soon. David, any success with Charles?” 

“Nope.” replied David. “The past month alone I have dropped approximately five million hints, but dad doesn’t bite. It’s kind of insulting, I mean, what kind of telepath does he think I am? Every time they see each other, Erik’s mind is all ‘CharlesCharlesCharles’ and dad’s mind is all ‘ErikErikErik’. It’s about as subtle as a train wreck.” 

“Not to mention them making eyes at each other,” said Pietro. “Seriously, you should have been there back in seventy-three. I had to sit through hours and hours and hours of the two of them just staring into each other’s eyes like a bad rom-com.” 

“I’m seventeen, my parents hadn’t even met each other in nineteen seventy-three.” 

“Yeah, I forgot that your parents got together because Charles was on rebound.” 

“Pietro, I swear to–” 

Tommy butted in. “Everyone, shut up right now and listen to this.” He read aloud from his phone screen. “It’s breaking news: ‘Today, mutant rights activists Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr revealed in a public statement that they are in a romantic relationship’. The article’s pretty short because it’s only just happened.” 

David’s expression changed from exasperation to delight. “Oh, I fucking knew it! I told all of you, neither of those bastards know how to be emotionally vulnerable around any of us.” 

The jam jar telekinetically floated into David’s hand. 

Lorna nudged him with her elbow. “Hey, I called it too! I said it would be sometime in the next five years, three years ago.” 

“Okay, we’ll split it.” 

David divided the money into two piles of thirty-five dollars and handed one of them to Lorna. 

Tommy ran his fingers through his hair dramatically. “I can’t believe I changed my bet.” 

“You wouldn’t have won either way,” Billy pointed out. 

“That’s not the _point_.” 

The doorbell rang. 

David looked at the front door with trepidation. “Shit. It’s them.” 

“Who?” said Pietro. “Did you piss off Alpha Flight again?” 

“First of all, I didn’t piss off Alpha Flight, I pissed off Abigail Brand, and we buried the hatchet like three months ago. Secondly, dad and Erik are outside that door and we have about thirty seconds before they let themselves in.” 

“Shit,” said Wanda. 

It was the first time any of them had heard her swear.

**Author's Note:**

> I know what you’re thinking: “Surely Pietro has heard Wanda swear before!”
> 
> But here’s my take: when they were teenagers, Pietro started swearing, and Wanda refused. It became a Thing between them, and Wanda knew that if she ever started swearing then Pietro would make fun of her, so she didn't.
> 
> Until her dad and his boyfriend turned up at her front door.
> 
> To find out about David’s antics with Abigail Brand, you’ll have to read X-Men Legacy (2012).
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome <3
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. The characters are owned by Marvel. I am not profiting financially from this story.


End file.
